Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hi, I'm Maggie.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: I'm Nicole. Welcome to the DAC Dyslexia and Coffee Podcast. We're so happy you could join us. We're both moms and dyslexia interventionists who want to talk about our students and children.
What dyslexia is, how it affects our kids. Strategies to help and topics related to other learning disabilities will also be covered in this podcast.
Parents are not alone, and we want to give voice to the concerns and struggles we are all having.
This is a safe place to learn more about how to help our children grow and succeed in school, in the world.
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy the conversation.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: Hi, everybody. So it is time for the concept of the week. Concept of the week is our opportunity as practitioners to kind of pull back the curtain a little bit and let everybody into an intervention session. So this is the part of the podcast that we like to talk about. What are we teaching our students?
So today's concept of the week is strategy.
So the word strategy gets thrown around, I think a lot, and I think it's really worth a definition.
So a strategy is a technique or a plan of action used to accomplish a goal within executive functioning. Right. So what we've been talking about all summer long, these are the tools used to improve planning, organization, time management, and other cognitive skills that are essential for meeting our goals.
These strategies can be applied in all kinds of settings. Right. So school, home, at work, you know, and it really, it enhances our overall effectiveness and how much we're able to get done.
We also talk about strategies in structured literacy instruction. So when we're talking about strategies in that context, it's talking about the ways we use to figure things out. For example, if a student comes to a word they cannot read or speak spell, our first question is, okay, what strategy are you going to use to figure this out? We have taught them tools. We have taught them to segment out that word and blend it back together. We have taught them to look for prefix or suffix first.
So we have taught them all these strategies for figuring out a word for reading or for spelling.
And we want to always use that word in intervention when we're talking to them because we want to reinforce that that's really that tool you're going to use.
So we might say, like a strategy is kind of like a tool that we can use.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: So welcome to episode 48, which is our summer series wrap up.
[00:03:04] Speaker A: I can't believe it.
[00:03:06] Speaker B: No way.
So it's our eighth and final episode of the summer series on executive functioning.
So far this summer, we've discussed family expectations, goal setting, emotional identification, and coping skills. We've discussed flexibility, rigidity, being stuck. And last week we talked about why we need to be flexible. And this week we're talking about goals.
[00:03:35] Speaker A: And how to get what we need.
[00:03:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
Last week we talked about the application of that goal. Why plan do check.
[00:03:48] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:03:49] Speaker A: We talked about kind of activities that you can use at home to really apply that.
[00:03:58] Speaker B: And we talked about what might get in the way of reaching our goals.
Either a flaw in our plan or distractor.
[00:04:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
This week we want to introduce plan B strategies for reaching our goal.
So this way we want to talk about. Okay, what are the tools that we can use when we get bumps in the road?
First, ask for help.
Second, come up with a compromise.
Or third, resist a distractor.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: Strategy. One is asking for help.
Asking for help can be difficult for some of our kids. Right.
It's important to reinforce that we all need help sometimes.
Believe me, I say that a lot in our house.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: Oh, yes.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: And it's a great plan B strategy for reaching a goal.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: Absolutely.
I really struggle with this one. My family will make fun of me to no end.
I have to be reminded it's okay to ask for help. Right.
In fact, it is often the best strategy to get your needs filled. Honestly.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: Yeah. This one is. Practice what you preach.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: Yeah. This one actually, for me, until I needed to ask for help, it was really hard for me to do it.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: It is.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: And it's still a struggle. But because of.
So for our listeners, I had a hip replacement two years ago.
And when I had to ask for help with my sex, that was just.
I don't know. I don't. I didn't like it.
[00:05:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:51] Speaker B: But I had to do it because I couldn't bend over.
Exactly. It doesn't feel great. But you know what? Everybody wanted to help because they wanted it to go well.
[00:06:02] Speaker A: And I think that's the thing. It's like, really, once you just ask for help and you get what you need. You know, I have had to learn this lesson many, many times in the course of my life, you know, and every time I do, it does feel like a brand new revelation to me.
Actually, people do want to help.
And when you ask for that help, you get what you need.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:06:35] Speaker A: So a really good activity for demonstrating this strategy is a little bit of a role play.
[00:06:44] Speaker B: Oh, that's a good idea.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: And you can kind of let your kids in on it. Or not. I've done it both ways. I've Actually done this activity in a classroom setting, and I've done something similar at home.
But you're gonna kind of role play carrying, like, a large box or something kind of heavy that will definitely be a struggle for you to carry.
Ideally, this is like, a box with a lot of little things in it, like games or toys or back in the day, I would do this with, like, CDs.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: Remember those?
[00:07:21] Speaker A: Remember that. Remember that.
You know, you will act like this is a big challenge, and you might even drop a few items, and you're gonna kind of. You're gonna call attention to yourself. You're gonna look like a, like, fool.
And you. You might even want to have a pause.
You know, you could talk about. The goal is to move these items from one side of the room to the other. Maybe this is a box of things that needs to go to Goodwill, so it needs to go in the car.
You know, maybe these are things that we picked around from other places in the house.
[00:08:02] Speaker B: That never happens.
[00:08:03] Speaker A: No.
Somebody else's house. Maybe somebody else's house. Nope, my house. All the time.
[00:08:09] Speaker B: All the time.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: You know, maybe this is our things that need to go get put away.
[00:08:15] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:15] Speaker A: Right.
Make it really clear that, like, your plan A was to try to move all these items by yourself. And guess what?
That did not work.
That did not work.
So plan B is to ask for help and practice role playing that with your kids. You know, can you please help me pick up these three things and put them away? Or could you. Could you take this end of the box and I'll take the other end of the box?
You really want to be explicit with the kind of help you're asking for?
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Right.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: Could you open the door for me?
I'm carrying something heavy. Can you open the door?
[00:09:00] Speaker B: Could you please hold the dog back so that they don't trip you as I'm walking with the door? Yeah.
[00:09:06] Speaker A: Or run away.
[00:09:07] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that happens, too.
[00:09:09] Speaker A: All the things.
[00:09:09] Speaker B: All the things. All the things. All the things.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: All the things. Yes.
You know, definitely.
I mean, I don't, you know, you don't even have to, like, make up these scenarios. Think about bringing in groceries from the car.
[00:09:24] Speaker B: Yeah. It's. In everyday life, it's.
[00:09:26] Speaker A: Right. These are things that happen, you know, every day.
And it's just talking out loud that, you know, I really can't get this all done by myself. As much as I would want to imagine the person with all the grocery bags. Right. Like, I will only take one trip. I don't. How many, you know, bottles of milk have to fall and break at the time for me to really learn like that. It actually is not a good. It's not a good plan.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: No.
[00:09:59] Speaker A: Just have the person help you. This is ridiculous.
You know, but really talking with your kids about, you know, were there other options?
Right. Could you have carried these items one at a time?
Why would that be? Or not be a good option here?
[00:10:19] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: You know, are you going to carry this whole thing like one item at a time? It's going to take you an hour.
[00:10:25] Speaker B: And a half.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: You know, and really be explicit about that. You know? Sure.
Could you probably get it done yourself? You probably could.
[00:10:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: Is that the best, most efficient way of doing it?
Probably not.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: You know, and then have them apply that in their own life. Right?
[00:10:49] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:10:50] Speaker A: Yeah. This is definitely the pot calling the kettle black here.
[00:10:57] Speaker B: Strategy number two is to compromise. So you can practice with the idea of compromise as a strategy with our kids. Also with using the role of playing.
[00:11:06] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, it's really such a good way to experience things, you know?
You know, you can kind of give out some either made up scenarios or things that really are happening right in your home.
You do not want to start this one at a place where we are already needing to come up with a compromise.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:11:31] Speaker A: You know, yes. You can coach your kids through this situation. But when we're doing teaching.
No. When they're already at each other's throats is not the time to try to teach them anything. That's not it.
[00:11:46] Speaker B: Yeah. And just like, like our son is in speech therapy. They're doing these scenarios right now, social interaction scenarios. Because it's a safe environment for them to practice.
[00:11:58] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:11:59] Speaker B: And sometimes the conversation gets very interesting.
[00:12:04] Speaker A: It sure does.
[00:12:05] Speaker B: It.
[00:12:05] Speaker A: Sure. It is amazing what your kids come up with that will really impress you. And the things that you're like, oh, oh, we definitely have to do some teaching here.
Interesting idea.
You know, some possible things you can talk about. Right. Two friends want to have fun at recess. One friend wants to play soccer and the other one wants to play basketball.
[00:12:31] Speaker B: So have your kids think about ways these two friends could compromise for that situation.
Right.
[00:12:39] Speaker A: Yeah. And you know, and you can kind of review. Right. We talked about. There are three different ways to compromise.
One, combine ideas.
Two, pick something new or three, take turns.
[00:12:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:55] Speaker A: So you know, these two friends, maybe they find some silly game where a soccer ball and a basketball is involved.
Kids love doing that. Yes. It's silly and fun and creative and they could really pull it off. Kids are adaptable and really fun. Like that they could pick a different activity all together. Okay, let's do dodgeball. Let's do dodgeball. Let's play on the slide, you know, or maybe they can take turns. Okay, we'll play soccer for one half of recess. We'll play basketball for the other half of recess, you know, or we'll play soccer at lunch recess and at afternoon recess, we'll play basketball.
[00:13:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:37] Speaker A: Know, those are definite ways that they could compromise and solve their issue.
[00:13:43] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:13:48] Speaker A: You know, if you do have more than one child in your home, you can really put this into practice, actually, in real life, you know, you can have your kids pick out a treat for after dinner.
Pick the activity, like, to do on the weekend, you know, or maybe they what a movie they want to watch on movie night. Pick something that you know is gonna cause some kind of need for compromise, but not something that's gonna blow up your whole day. Right. I mean, you know, you know your kids, but really the way to move past us having a blow up over every little decision we have to make is giving them practice with this.
[00:14:35] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: Allowing them to work it out amongst themselves is the only way we teach this skill.
[00:14:44] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:14:45] Speaker A: It's the only way that gets actually solidified.
And I do have the research to back me up here.
It doesn't mean I have to like.
[00:14:54] Speaker B: It.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: That it really is. Right. So, like, how could they compromise?
You know, can they combine their ideas?
Right. Can we have cupcakes and ice cream?
Not in my house. No.
Mommy can, you know, could they pick out something new or could they take turns picking?
Mm.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: Yeah, we just don't let my husband pick on movie nights.
[00:15:29] Speaker A: Yeah, he picked that terrible movie about the dog who dies. Right?
[00:15:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:33] Speaker A: No, no, Chris is out.
[00:15:35] Speaker B: Yeah, he's. He's banned now. And that is a compromise from the rest of us.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: No, he's. He's done.
[00:15:43] Speaker B: He's done. But he makes the entire family cry for hours.
[00:15:46] Speaker A: No.
You get one chance with that, dude. Nope.
[00:15:51] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness.
[00:15:52] Speaker A: You're out. No.
So funny.
You know, compromise is so hard.
[00:16:05] Speaker B: It is hard.
[00:16:05] Speaker A: It is really hard, you know, and to kind of reinforce that idea is to use that feelings change.
[00:16:14] Speaker B: Oh, yes.
[00:16:15] Speaker A: You know, and you can have your kids think about solving a problem using a compromise. This could be something real that happened to them, or it could be something from a book or a movie. There. Books and movies and TV shows are really good.
They have great examples of them.
And you can do this even while you're reading a book or watching a show or a movie that's what makes those, like family showtime or family movie time. We're actually all watching the same thing. And it has a beginning, middle, or an end.
It actually really is good and healthy.
And it's a great way to talk about executive functioning skills.
So you can kind of think about either characters that had to make a compromise or something really that has happened to them.
You know, you talk about the event, what happened? What was the situation?
You know, two friends wanted to play two different things at recess.
Okay. What was the feeling that created? And this first time you're like, I'm putting myself in Johnny's shoes. What was Johnny feeling?
And then you take a pause because often it's like sad or mad or frustrated.
Okay, what's the action then?
So what was the compromise?
And then how are the other people feeling in the situation?
What was the consequence? Right. And consequences could either be. Be positive or negative. Right. Consequence is just simply what happened.
[00:18:03] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:18:04] Speaker A: Either we solved it or we didn't.
You know, and then back to that. How am I feeling now?
[00:18:13] Speaker B: And if I'm.
This is going back to that emotional identification.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:18:19] Speaker B: How am I feeling? Do I need to do something to make myself back into that calling area?
[00:18:26] Speaker A: Exactly. Because really, this could keep going, still in a circle, and be like, take another pause, come up with a different plan. I mean, this doesn't have to. We're talking about a feelings chain. And it's often laid out like it is a chain, but again, just like, plan wide, plan du. Check. Right. The chink in the chain. Oh, my gosh. Like the Meet the Fockers.
[00:18:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: Oh, my God, that's so funny.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:51] Speaker A: The family. There's you.
Oh, my gosh. So funny.
But often this is laid out like a chain, but really it's not really. This is also cyclical. It's really a circle.
So I do like talking about that language and parrying it to the feelings and thinking about, how do I feel? How do other people feel?
What is the best course of action? How do we get.
How do we get this done in a way that, you know is going to serve the most people that it can?
[00:19:32] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:19:33] Speaker A: You know, maybe. Maybe not always everybody, but you know the way to make this home as peaceful as possible.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:19:41] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: The strategy number three is resisting a distractor.
[00:19:49] Speaker A: Yes. Hard.
[00:19:51] Speaker B: So hard, so hard.
We really make goals all day long, and sometimes things come along that stretch us from those goals. This is natural and part of life.
So we have to get good at coming up with a plan B to resist the distractions.
Like turning off your email or clicking out of your email while you're doing a podcast.
[00:20:16] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:20:17] Speaker B: So you don't get distracted and start typing in the middle of your podcast, which is a bad thing to do.
[00:20:23] Speaker A: Which is a bad thing to do. And not polite to our listeners.
[00:20:27] Speaker B: And it's a good example, though, of how it could happen, right?
[00:20:30] Speaker A: Definitely. Definitely. I mean, all day.
[00:20:35] Speaker B: Right. I mean, it's a never ending.
[00:20:37] Speaker A: It really is really true, you know, for our kids, kind of that you really want to get a good grade on your math test tomorrow.
Your plan is to study as soon as you come home from school, but then your friend asks if they can come over and finish the video game that you guys started over the weekend.
It's your favorite video game and you know you can win.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: That's a good distractor.
[00:21:08] Speaker A: It is a good distractor.
You can talk about it with your kids.
So what are the ways that they can keep focused on their target goal but still get to play their video game?
[00:21:28] Speaker B: First, ask. Are both things important to you?
You know, when you're thinking about goals? And some people might like, I cannot play video games very well. So usually if that's an option.
[00:21:41] Speaker A: Right. I'll be like, peace out. I'm good.
[00:21:43] Speaker B: That's okay. I think I'd do something else. Yeah.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: But if this is a kid who loves video games, they're probably gonna say, yeah, they're both important to me.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: Correct.
And then which is most important or more important to you?
And then could you compromise? We're back to that compromise, Right? Can you play the video game for 30 minutes and still study?
Could you study for an hour and then call your friend over? Or could you get your friend to come over a different day?
[00:22:10] Speaker A: Exactly. So, you know, you're still.
You're kind of like resisting that distractor and calling in the strategy of compromise.
[00:22:21] Speaker B: Correct? Yep.
[00:22:23] Speaker A: Some really good language to use at home to reinforce that Plan B strategies.
If you're talking about asking for help, you know, do you need help?
Sometimes our kids need that prompt. And if I'm being honest, I do, too.
Do you need help?
[00:22:42] Speaker B: I do, too.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: You know, this isn't working. Should we ask for help?
[00:22:49] Speaker B: Or who should be asked for help, too?
Sometimes, depending on the situation, you might ask somebody different then. A different situation.
[00:22:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, this weekend we were trying to move some kind of heavy furniture around, and we did have plenty of people, but it was like the room was not set up very nice.
It was a lot of like, okay, this person has to move this part Here, this, you know, a lot of in the moment, and we all had to ask each other for help, and it was, you know, a lot.
A lot.
[00:23:32] Speaker B: Compromise. What if our plan B is to compromise, how would the compromise help keep us on target?
[00:23:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I like that a lot.
You know, how would the. How would this compromise keep us on target? Because it reinforces the idea of compromise and being on target.
[00:23:53] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:23:54] Speaker A: So you're really covering both. Both, you know, and making that just part of your family's language will really serve your kids well in adulthood.
[00:24:06] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: Just the point of raising the children.
I hope I'm not there yet, but, man, I hope that's the point. Yeah.
In terms of resisting a distractor, like a phone call, I just did.
[00:24:24] Speaker B: I promise.
[00:24:28] Speaker A: You know, can we include this distracting. This distractor in our plan?
[00:24:34] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:24:35] Speaker A: You know, what about reaching our goal first and then be distracted after?
[00:24:43] Speaker B: Yes.
And if it seems like we're moving away from our target goal, how can we get back on track?
[00:24:50] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:24:52] Speaker B: You know, because even though I have my phone on silent, I do not know how to put my computer on silent. So that was my bad.
So I did try to make my distractors smaller, but obviously it didn't work because.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to Google that.
[00:25:14] Speaker A: And now.
And now we get to teach about it.
[00:25:18] Speaker B: Yes. It's fine.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: And I do like.
[00:25:21] Speaker B: And that's who I'm going to ask for help, because that's who knows Peter more than I do.
[00:25:26] Speaker A: Dear Google. Yeah, in my head, that is what I'm saying when I Google something, too.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: Like, dear Google, help me figure this technology out.
[00:25:36] Speaker A: Please help.
[00:25:39] Speaker B: Are we sure we can't go back to.
[00:25:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I know.
[00:25:42] Speaker B: No, I don't think we're going back. No, we're not going back.
[00:25:45] Speaker A: But, you know, but I like, do really like that kind of moving away from our target goal. How can we get back on track? It's really not judgmental language. It's really talking about.
Seems like we're really not on. We're really kind of not on track right now. How do we get back on track?
Right. It also poses the question as if it is possible.
[00:26:10] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: You know, how do we get back on track? Really kind of implies we are going to get back on track.
[00:26:16] Speaker B: Yeah. It's more the positive way of talking, Right?
[00:26:19] Speaker A: Absolutely. Yep. Than the negative, which it really, really matters when we're framing things to our kids, especially.
Yes. You know, I do find when I. When I do use this kind of language, my kids respond usually pretty well, especially because we are very consistent about that at our house. It is something that we really do value and understand that why it works.
[00:26:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: And it's, it's been a great tool for us at home.
Wow. And that's it for our summer series.
[00:27:01] Speaker B: Wow. That's amazing. And I can't believe the summer is almost gone.
I am so outside of dyslexia. I have to admit. This past weekend we had to go school shopping.
[00:27:13] Speaker A: Oh no.
[00:27:14] Speaker B: We got our school supplies because the list came out and I, I, I told the principal, I'm like, really? He's like, well, all the supplies are actually out. And sure enough, they were all out. So we were like, well, you know, we better go get them before they disappear because sometimes you go in there and it's all gone.
[00:27:33] Speaker A: I am so not ready for a date back to school time.
[00:27:37] Speaker B: Me neither.
[00:27:39] Speaker A: We, no thank you. No thank you. I'm not ready for that.
[00:27:46] Speaker B: It's going to be 106 degrees tomorrow.
[00:27:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Not ready for that.
[00:27:50] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm not ready for the 106 degrees. I am generally really fine with warmer and even hot temperatures. I'm okay with that. 106. No thank you.
And we will add like 106 and very humid.
[00:28:06] Speaker B: Correct. Like yeah, there's a lot of moisture in the air.
[00:28:09] Speaker A: Like our air will be like you could feel it.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:15] Speaker A: So no thank you to that.
And then just not being able to breathe, it makes me worry about like our population. Like we have a lot of people in our lives that struggle to breathe in this kind of weather. It makes me worry about them.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:28:36] Speaker A: So yeah, it is definitely on our minds this tropical heat wave that we are having. But it will, it's supposed to be pretty short lived.
We're supposed to go camping this weekend. So I'm really hoping.
[00:28:51] Speaker B: Oh, good luck.
[00:28:53] Speaker A: Really hoping.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: According to our favorite weather person, it is going to stick for a little bit.
[00:29:00] Speaker A: Not interested in tropical camping.
What is good news though is it is actually. So it is friends of ours that have a really beautiful property.
[00:29:15] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:29:16] Speaker A: And they have two kids that are kind of that neurodiverse population and like they love to camp and be out in the woods, but they just, their kids.
It's hard to do.
[00:29:26] Speaker B: It is hard to do when you've.
[00:29:27] Speaker A: Got all that stuff. So they host a camp out every year in their yard. And so it's a bunch of friends and we set up our tents and we do have a campfire and she runs like camp activities like she did. Oh my gosh. I don't know. She did like, like a weaving project last year. This year my husband is building bird houses with the kids so he's got them all pre cut and pre drilled and they're gonna put them together. It's, it is like the most fun weekend and is so low stakes.
Last year some families came to hang out and then they didn't sleep there.
So if it's real hot, that might also be the Gunther family plan.
We'll do all the fun things and then we might just go back to the air conditioning, head home for the nighttime.
But it is just, it is really fun. We are really looking forward to it and we will be very disappointed if it can't happen for some reason.
Yeah.
Well, thank you everybody for listening.
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[00:31:06] Speaker B: Thank you.
